Should you pay for Dating Apps?
This is a question I get asked a lot, Match, Zoosk, paid Bumble, Tinder Gold, there’s plenty of companies willing to take your money with promises of high value men and quality date requests if only you subscribe to their premium service. There’s a philosophy that men who have had to pay to use a dating website will have higher intentions than one using the service for free. But how does this actually translate in reality?
In practise many of the same men are on both free and paid sites. If a man is serious about finding someone he will still be serious whether he has paid to use a service or not. If a man is a player, then he might be less inclined to pay to join a dating service, however not always.
Is it worth investing in a paid dating app? Well yes and no. Actually for single ladies actively dating I give five spending priorities. If you’ve got these in order first and still have money in your budget left, then by all means sign up for the premium dating service. Not before having all your bases covered though.
Are Premium Dating Apps Worth it?
There’s no straight answer, sometimes yes, sometimes no.
Lets go through and see why investing in a paid dating subscription service might be worth it (or not) for your particular situation.
This is how I suggest you prioritise your spending:
Therapy
If you have any issues that are impacting your ability to date, form an attachment with someone, bond, deal with the anxiety that comes with dating someone new then therapy is vital. It doesn’t matter how amazing you look on the outside if you have inner issues that aren’t addressed. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t get on with the first or second therapist you find either. It’s very common and may take you a few tries before you find the right fit for you. Persist though as overcome these challenges and this can be the best money you’ve ever spent. This is the ultimate first spending priority for a single lady actively seeking to date.
Inner Beauty
No matter how good you look on the outside, if you’re a mess on the inside, you won’t have success in dating.
Everyone can heal from past trauma, provided sufficient attention is paid to it and you’re prepared to do the work.
2. Going Out
You need to get out of your house and DO THINGS! Gym, running club, art classes, cookery classes, sports, parties, dog walking, martial arts, going glammed up to the supermarket… basically anything that involves leaving your house. Make sure there’s sufficient money in your budget for you to go out and do things. I see so many women concentrate all of their dating efforts purely on dating apps and have nowhere near enough money to go out. This is completely the wrong way round! Prioritise going out over and above dating online. I recommend 80% of your dating activity be focussed on meeting men in the real world, only 20% devoted to online encounters.
Go out and do things!
Sounds pretty obvious? Yet so many women don’t make a conscious effort to go out. They rely solely on dating apps. This is ineffective and frustrating. You must get yourself out of the door!
3. Looking Good
All women have their own unique charms. Before paying for a dating app, allocate money in your budget for skin, hair and nail care, cosmetics and other beauty products. Doing home treatments and opting for cheaper alternatives will make your money stretch further (and I have an entire blog about how to make your ‘beauty’ money go as far as possible) but however cheap you can make grooming and fashion, there is still a cost involved. I don’t know anyone that can do this for £0. It’s important you allocate a portion of your budget towards looking as good as you possibly can. This takes higher priority than paying for a dating app.
Budget Money for the Salon
One thing I don’t advise you do at home is cut your own hair!
So definitely allocate a portion of your budget towards regular hair cuts and other cosmetics.
4. Professional Photos
After doing the inner work, going out to places and looking your very best its time to allocate some money to professional photos. After you’ve allocated money for therapy, money for going out and money for your beauty maintenance, next on your list should be finding a photographer and getting professional photos done for your online dating profiles. This should come as a higher spending priority than paying for a dating service as these photos will be used on both free and paid apps. If you have the money don’t delay getting this done thinking you’ll have the photos done after you lose weight or after you’ve had botox. A good photographer will find the most flattering angles and you’ll get more date requests than without. When you do lose the weight / have the botox you can reward yourself with an updated shoot. Don’t penalise yourself though for being heavier than you’d like or looking older than you’d like. Acceptance and self love is the first step in achieving your goals. So be kind to yourself, get the photos done and you will lose the weight / look younger.
Professional Photos are a MUST
If you’re going to include online dating as one of your strategies to meet men, then professional photos are not optional. They are essential. Start saving up for them now!
5. Paid Dating Apps
Only after you’ve invested in therapy, allocated money to going out, allocated money for your maintenance and upkeep and have professional photos on your dating profiles, only at this point should you consider spending any money on a paid dating service. This is because a paid dating app is not guaranteed to give you better results than a free service. However therapy if you have issues will usually help you move forwards, going out of your house gives you many more options than if you stay at home. Also meeting men in the real world is a million times better than meeting men from the internet. Looking your absolute very best gives you more options in the dating arena and having professional photos gives widens the pool of men interested in you. All of these do more for your dating life than paying for a premium dating service. However if, after the first four spending priorities are met you still have money, then go ahead and try them out. I’d recommend Tinder Gold & paid Bumble.
So There You Have It
If all your other ducks in a row are sorted and you still have money left, then why not give premium dating apps a whirl.
Be mindful though that they don’t guarantee anything, you’re paying for convenience not higher quality date requests or higher caliber men.
If you’d like to discuss any of this further then schedule an appointment with me
or sign up to my email newsletter and check out my book for further information regarding dating apps, Feminine Energy 101